woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
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