bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
