Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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