I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize