I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Everyone says I win the strip club
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
