You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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