How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
me + whiskey = a bad person
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
