You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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