You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
