are you still at the devil's house?
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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