ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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