I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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