am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
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My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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