I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
