Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
