New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
