Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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