Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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