he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
worst night to have a conscience
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He better not be in your backpack
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
