Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
