You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
