A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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