so explain again why im purple
no
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I faked an abortion last night.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
