Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
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