why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i need some magic done to my vagina
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
