god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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