I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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