HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize