u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
