Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
