he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
