Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
