suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
