is your mom at the bar?
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize