Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
