I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
