is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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