If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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