Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
two words...techno handjob
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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