why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
