Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
