they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
YAS. BRING CRAB.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
