The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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