it's not cheating when I paid for it
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
