I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
where are you?
Hypothermia
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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