My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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