i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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