Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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