so that wasnt chicken after all
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
