apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
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Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
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He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
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