im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
