I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Alive.
So much puke
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
