Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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