I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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