He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
