This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I will pee on everything he values.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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