I can feel you judging me through the phone.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
