Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wish you could order shots online.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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