dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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