just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
