who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
