I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm sobbing to NWA
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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