Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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